Scaredy Cat

Days until restraining order is lifted: 111

We had our Thanksgiving dinner yesterday night instead of Thursday for a variety of reasons.  Well I had to take my grandmother home afterwards.  My grandmother is absolutely terrified of cats.  We pull up to her house and I see something on her stoop.  I was looking ‘what is that?’ and then it moved.  It was a big ass cat chilling on the front steps.  I was like: “Grandma, there’s a cat on your stoop.”  She said, “There better not be.”  And I was all “Well there is.” And then she told me to go scare it away.  I laughed at her until she told me to shut up.  It was hilarious.  I managed to get a picture of the cat before he ran off.   

Voloyda's Craziness Part 17

Days until restraining order is lifted: 113

Voloyda is driving me mad.  He’s being all nice and pleasant.  I hate it.  I prefer when he acts like an ass.  Which isn't to say I like it but it’s what I expect.  It’s normal.  And now he’s acting like a decent human being.  I don’t like it.  Seems a bit suspicious.  Makes me wonder what the fuck he’s up to now. 

Four Months to Go

Days until restraining order is lifted: 120

Only four months left till my restraining order expires.  Yay!  

Devil Person

Days until restraining order is lifted: 124 
 

As a follow-up (or would it be a prelude) to my last post Music of the Devil, I figured I would post about the first time I was called a “Devil Person.”  This story can also be found on peopleofwalmart.com under the title “A Goth Topic.” 

On this particular day I was wearing black jeans, a black T-shirt, several spiked leather bands on my wrists, a pink and black dog collar, a large shiny pink Nightmare Before Christmas belt buckle and a Nightmare Before Christmas Jack Skellington hat.  I stopped at Walmart to pick up a few things on my way to work.  Another customer came up to me and told me she really liked my costume.  I told her it’s not really a costume if I dress like this every day and that I was Goth.  She flipped out and accused me of being the devil.  Her exact words were:  “You’re one of those Devil People aren’t you!?  Stay away from me with your evil magic!”  And then she screamed at me and ran away.  A bunch of other people heard the exchange and started laughing.  Why this woman thought I was in costume at one-thirty in the afternoon three weeks before Halloween, I have no idea.  But it sure made for an interesting encounter.  Some people are just so stupid.

Mucic of the Devil

Days until restraining order is lifted: 128
 

I went shopping today just to grab a few things and was called a Devil Person for watching a YouTube video of an Asian man playing the violin.  It wasn’t the first time I was called a Devil Person, but it was the first time it happened for listening to violin music.

I was watching the video on my phone (with headphones in) while waiting on the people in front of me, when the woman behind me just flipped out.

Crazy Woman: What it that horrible noise?
Me: It’s violin music.

CW: What kind of weirdo listens to violin music?

Me: Me, apparently.

CW: (sees who’s playing the violin in the video) He’s Asian!  Asian people are the Devil!

Me: Um… I hardly think so.

CW: You must stop listening to that Devil music and go to church like a good Christian.

Me: Not that it’s any of your business but I’m an atheist.

CW: You’re one of those Devil People!  You worship Satan, kill children and have gay sex!

Me: As I said before, I’m an atheist.  I don’t even believe in the Devil.  And though it’s hardly your concern, you’re right about the gay sex.  I’m bisexual.

 And then she screamed and ran off.  It was quite amusing.

Halloween

Days until restraining order is lifted: 141

Back when I was still working at The Store I asked David when his birthday was and he said it was October 31st.  I was like "Oh my god.  That is my favorite day."  And he looked at me like I had completely lost my mind.  I just really like Halloween.  It's the Goths holiday.  

Trick-or-Treating for my city was pushed to Sunday because of the weather so I waited to get Halloween candy to pass out until today so it would be half off.  I managed to get over ten pounds of candy for $9.  Yay candy!

Voloyda's Craziness Part 16

Days until the restraining order is lifted: 147

I was checking the air pressure in my tires today and found a tiny box stuck to the underside of my car.  Guess what it was?  A GPS tracking device.  I wonder who could have done that?  Dammit Voloyda what the fuck is the matter with you?!  Have you completely lost your mind?!  You know I'm really not even surprised anymore.  I've come to expect this sort of thing.  What I really want to know is how long this thing has been under my car and if I'm the only person he's done this to.  I really, really hope that I am, but I seriously doubt it.  He's more obsessed with David than he is with me so I'd hazard a guess he's placed a tracker on David's car as well.  My only hope is that David does not find it.  I do not feel like dealing with the police.  And we all know I would be the first person they questioned.  Dammit Voloyda are you trying to get me arrested?  What the fuck is wrong with you?

Voloyda's Parties

Days until restraining order is lifted: 149

Silas is being a pain by refusing to go to Voloyda’s Halloween party.  I think I scared him when I told him about what Voloyda does for a living.  And I think I may have freaked him out a little when I told him if we went he’d have to sign a liability waiver.  You can’t exactly blame Voloyda for wanting to protect himself from lawsuits.  It’s not entirely his fault people tend to seriously maim themselves at his parties.  In the four years I’ve known him I think there’s been four serious injuries, hundreds of minor injuries and one death at his parties.  Or maybe it was two deaths.

There was the guy that got kicked in the throat by a horse and died (what kind of idiot doesn’t know not to sneak up on a horse?)

The guy who attempted to breathe fire who ended up falling into the fire at the bible burning and got second and third degree burns.
Then there was the guy who fell off the roof onto his head and broke his neck.

The guy who got his arm cut off by a tractor (pretty sure the doctors managed to re-attach it.)

And the guy who drowned in the pool (I think but I’m not totally sure that they got him breathing again.)

Most of those the people brought it onto themselves.  If you can’t hold your liquor you really shouldn’t be drinking.  It’s not everyone else’s job to watch you.  You can’t drink a bottle of vodka, attempt to juggle flaming sticks and then get mad and sue when you catch on fire.  It’s only the people who get really drunk that end up injured.  I told Silas if we went we would be fine because we don’t drink but he’s still refusing to go.  Oh well, there’s always next year.

Humane Society Part 3

Days until restraining order is lifted: 163

My first week of volunteering.  Yesterday I got over 2 dozen paper cuts from folding pamphlets.  And then today one of the dogs about ripped my arm out of socket lunging at a cat he saw in a ditch.  I didn't realize volunteering would be so painful. 

Humane Society Part 2

Days until restraining order is lifted: 173

Humane Society training tomorrow morning.  They'll be showing me where everything is, introducing me to the animals, and showing me how to do everything.  I'm so excited.  I get to meet all kinds of cute doggies.  It'll be a good fit for me.  I always liked animals better than people anyway.

Humane Society

Days until restraining order is lifted: 177

I had my volunteer orientation for the humane society today. I am now an official volunteer.  They have so many cute dogs.  I want a new doggy. 

Facebook Official

Days until restraining order is lifted: 185

Silas and I are now officially dating.  It's Facebook official.  Voloyda of course saw it, pitched a fit, and threatened to stab him like he "did to Little Ivan."  Such a charming man.  So since Silas and I started going out my dad threatened to shoot him and Voloyda threatened to stab him.  He's quite resilient though, still interested anyway. 

Awkward Conversation with David 2

Days until restraining order is lifted: 195

I got a haircut today.  Got like 4 inches lopped off.  It looks so much better... unlike David's hair after he got it cut.  When I was working at The Store David had a haircut that made him look like Alan Rickman.  And then he got his hair cut really short and it looked awful and I was very vocal about telling him how bad I thought it looked.

O: What did you do to your hair?  It looks horrible.
D: *Shocked look.  Sort of like 'I cannot believe you just said that to me.'*
O: I mean... It's not horrible.  I didn't mean horrible.  It's just different.  You look totally fine.
D: You don't have to lie.
O: I'm not lying.  It looks fine.
D: You're lying.  I can tell.  You preferred it when it was longer.  I don't look like Alan Rickman anymore.
O: You still look like Alan Rickman.  But it was better the way you had it before.

Yet another totally awkward conversation between us.  I'm actually amazed he never filed a sexual harassment complaint against me.  I was constantly hitting on him.  Or insulting him, as the case may be.   I'm inclined to agree with my sister that the reason he didn't file a complaint was because he was flattered.  I mean really, how often does a married guy in his mid-50's get hit on by a 20-year-old. 

Titus

Days until restraining order is lifted: 199

My aunt is paying me to clean her house. I blocked the entryway to the kitchen to keep the dog out while I mopped. I turn around and see this.

And then he looked so sad after I booted him back out.

Awkward Conversation with David

Days until restraining order is lifted: 205

My favorite celebrity ever is Alan Rickman (and if you don't know who that is you must remedy the situation immediately.  Go watch Harry Potter or Die Hard or Sweeney Todd.)  Pretty much everyone at The Store knew I liked Alan Rickman.  So when I said that I thought David looked like Alan Rickman, the logical conclusion was that I liked David as well.  So most of the people I worked with knew that I had a crush on David.  And they teased me about it incessantly.  So one day we were working and David was helping me to pick up the sales floor and we were talking, not really about anything in particular.  And, still no idea why I said this, it was such a bad idea, and I have no idea what I was expecting the outcome to be, but I said it anyway:

O: You know who you look like?
D: Woody Harrelson?
O: Who is Woody Harrelson?  I don't know who that is.  (I looked it up later.  David looks nothing like Woody Harrelson.)  You look like Alan Rickman.
D: I prefer Woody Harrelson.
O: (It was going totally fine up until this point.  I hadn't said anything weird or embarrassing and then:) But Alan Rickman is totally hot.
D: ...
O: ...
D: Thanks?

And then he laughed at me and walked away without saying anything else.  It was totally awkward and I wished I hadn't said it.  I think that was the first time David heard it from me that I thought he was attractive.  It was so embarrassing.  And everyone at The Store, including David, teased me even more after that. 

Silas Part 2

Days until restraining order is lifted: 212

My internet has been down for a week and a half and finally got it hooked back up today.  Yay internet! 

Things are going very well between Silas and I.  Date number 7 is scheduled for Saturday. 

Third date we went bowling then back to my house for a few movies. 

Fourth date we went to the mall for a few hours then went out to eat at this awesome stir-fry place I’d never been to and then we caught a couple movies at the drive-in.  I don’t really like horror movies and we saw “The Conjuring.”  That shit was scary.  I won’t be doing that again anytime soon.  “We’re The Millers” was the subsequent movie, just as funny as it was the first time, and it helped to wipe The Conjuring from my mind.

Fifth date we went to the zoo and then chilled at his house.  He was so excited about the zoo.  He said he hadn’t been there in over three years.  That is just sad.  We watched “Dogma,” which was fucking awesome.  Alan Rickman, whoop whoop!  LOL.  “Olympus Has Fallen” and “Pirates of the Caribbean.”

Sixth date, which was yesterday, he came over for dinner and met my parents and my sister and her husband.  My dad took him out to the garage with my sister’s husband while my mother, sister and I got the kitchen together.  Silas later told me when they were in the garage my father pulled out and gun and threatened to shoot him if he hit me.  Great dad, this is why I don’t bring my dates home.  It apparently didn’t faze him too much because he ended up staying the night.  We watched “Dark Shadows,” “Tower Heist” and “Horrible Bosses.”  Well my parents are going to the theater Saturday to see “Wicked” and Silas is going to come over.  We’ll probably just hang out, maybe go out to dinner

Conversation with Voloyda 16

Voloyda has taken to calling me Charlie Sheen.  This was the conversation we had explaining his reasoning:

V: What's up there Charlie Sheen?

O: Quit calling me Charlie Sheen. What exactly is the connection between me and Charlie Sheen?

V: You went crazy like Charlie Sheen and your life fell apart.

O: I hardly think so.

V: Your aunt died. You got fired. You got thrown in a mental hospital. And you got slapped with a restraining order. all in the span of 24 days

O: Well when you say it like that of course it sounds bad. That was 6 months ago and I've managed to at least partly pull my life together since then.

O: Though I will admit that was a pretty crappy month.

His logic is actually not that bad, for this one anyway.  I can see where he’s coming from.  But unlike him over the last six months I’ve taken steps to better myself where as he’s done nothing but proceed to dig himself into a deeper hole.Bottom of Form

Silas

Days until restraining order is lifted: 220

So things are going quite well with Silas.  We had our first date. We went and saw “We’re The Millers,” which was hilarious.  Our second date we went to Maumee Bay Park and walked the boardwalk for a few hours then went back to his house and watched a few movies.  Third date which is tonight we’re probably going to go bowling.  He’s a really nice guy (unlike the previous assholes I've dated) and we get along really well.