Voloyda's Parties

Days until restraining order is lifted: 149

Silas is being a pain by refusing to go to Voloyda’s Halloween party.  I think I scared him when I told him about what Voloyda does for a living.  And I think I may have freaked him out a little when I told him if we went he’d have to sign a liability waiver.  You can’t exactly blame Voloyda for wanting to protect himself from lawsuits.  It’s not entirely his fault people tend to seriously maim themselves at his parties.  In the four years I’ve known him I think there’s been four serious injuries, hundreds of minor injuries and one death at his parties.  Or maybe it was two deaths.

There was the guy that got kicked in the throat by a horse and died (what kind of idiot doesn’t know not to sneak up on a horse?)

The guy who attempted to breathe fire who ended up falling into the fire at the bible burning and got second and third degree burns.
Then there was the guy who fell off the roof onto his head and broke his neck.

The guy who got his arm cut off by a tractor (pretty sure the doctors managed to re-attach it.)

And the guy who drowned in the pool (I think but I’m not totally sure that they got him breathing again.)

Most of those the people brought it onto themselves.  If you can’t hold your liquor you really shouldn’t be drinking.  It’s not everyone else’s job to watch you.  You can’t drink a bottle of vodka, attempt to juggle flaming sticks and then get mad and sue when you catch on fire.  It’s only the people who get really drunk that end up injured.  I told Silas if we went we would be fine because we don’t drink but he’s still refusing to go.  Oh well, there’s always next year.