30 Days of Autism Acceptance: Day 3

Talk about relationships, both platonic and romantic. Do you have anyone special in your life? Have your relationships been affected by your being autistic? Have you found it hard to make and maintain friendships? Do you have a lot of friends or very few?

For someone my age, I believe I’ve had fewer romantic relationships than is common. With the exception of Voloyda, the majority of my romantic relationships have ended because my datemates think I’m strange, which I suppose I am. People say that I’m weird and I like to state that I’m perfectly normal for an autistic person. I’ve not seriously dated anyone since I received my diagnosis, but I’m thinking that when I do start dating again it might go a bit easier now that I was an explanation for my odd behaviors.

I’ve never really been able to make and maintain friendships. Especially when I was little, I just never really fit in and the other kids thought I was weird. As I got older and my social anxiety worsened, I stopped trying. By the time I got to high school, I didn’t talk to any of my classmates. It was to the point where I was talking to my teacher and a girl I had been in classes with for two years told me that up until that point she thought I was mute because she had literally never heard me say anything.

I don’t have many friends, I’m friendly with a few people online but my only in person friends are Theo and Voloyda. Theo’s been my BFF ever since we met in the seventh grade. We were attending a school for kids with ADHD and Asperger’s and we clicked right away. I’ve known Voloyda since I was 15, it’s kind of been the ten-year on-again-off-again relationship. He’s a good friend, for the most part, and he was a good partner when we dated. I had friends from work but those kind of tapered off after I got fired. I’ve never really been one to ‘keep in touch’ and it felt awkward trying to keep it going after everything that happened.

Though I don’t have many friends, I wouldn’t really say I’m lonely; I like being alone. I do wish I had a few more people to hang out with but for the most part I’m pretty content. People don’t get me and it kind of seems like a waste of time to expend energy trying to achieve and maintain friendships that will most likely end when the person deems me ‘too weird or boring.’

Update on Voloyda

"I was reading through the blog and it really struck me how absolutely insane Voloyda's behavior was. You say several times you were thinking about going to the police but you never did. Why not? And how is he now? You haven't mentioned him since you broke up months ago." Markus made this comment on my last post and here is my response.

Voloyda and I have a long and confusing and oftentimes irrational relationship.  As much as I bitched about him he was still my friend and I did love him.  As weird as it sounds considering everything that was going on, I was trying to protect him, I didn't want to be the reason for him getting into trouble.  And as bad as his behavior was I don't think he ever meant me any real harm and I was convinced there was something really wrong with him.  I talked about how bizarre his behavior was but he wasn't always like that.  We were together for three years, were engaged even, and things were great until they weren't.  He changed and his behavior just got more and more erratic.  He'd go through these horrible mood swings, he'd get super paranoid thinking there were people out to get him, he'd lose all sense of time, he spent all his money on stupid dangerous stuff, he did some pretty fucked up stuff to me personally.  I kept telling him something was wrong, that he needed to go to a doctor, but he wouldn't listen.  He kept insisting everything was fine that his behavior was perfectly normal.  Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and broke up with him.  On here he sounds like a complete psycho but that's not how he really is.  As much as he annoyed me and stressed me out I still loved him, plus I felt bad about how our relationship ended.  

He is so much better now.  He's back to his old self.  I mentioned it before, and again, I don't really want to go into the details too much because it's not my right to tell but I ended up being right; he was mentally ill.  And now that he's getting help he's back to how he used to be.  He's currently going part-time at university.  He's moved back in with his parent's to help out with the farm and he has a part-time job.  He's stopped hanging out with some of his more dangerous acquaintances.  Since we broke up for good he's been totally cool.  No late phone calls, no hiding in the bushes, no following me.  We hang out as friends and are even LARPing together again.  It's great.  Everything worked out very well.

General Update

All of these things happened between July 18th and September 1st.

Had a little bit of a rough patch about a month and a half ago.  My step dad and I sometimes don't get along well and we clashed a bit.  He was screaming that I needed to  move out and I was screaming that I wasn't going anywhere and that I'd rather die than be homeless.  And he was going on and on about how it's his house, and I'm driving him crazy and I ruined his marriage.  And I'm freaking out because I don't have anywhere else to go.   So I grabbed this knife and said if he wanted me out of his life that bad I'd stab myself in the throat and he'd never have to deal with me again.  And Mom's crying and telling me that I didn't ruin their marriage and I didn't have to go anywhere and trying to get the knife away from me and yelling at him to shut up.  I was totally freaking out.  I really probably should have gone into the hospital but after I calmed down I was mostly okay and didn't end up going.

This part is kind of gross so if you're squeamish you may want to skip to the next paragraph.  A few days after the above incident I went upstairs at 11;30 to find my mother sobbing in the kitchen.  The end of her finger was completely black and swollen so I ended up taking her to the emergency room.  The doctor numbed it up and then sliced the skin open right above her finger nail and all kinds caramel colored pus and blood shot out.  It was awesome.  Mom's really not into stuff like that and covered her face the entire time so she wouldn't have to see.  The doctor said if I liked stuff like that I should consider going into the medical field.  I took her to her GP the next day and they ran some blood work and it turns out she has MRSA.

My grandmother has diabetes and lately her blood sugar has been bottoming out.  The day after all of the above happened with mom I had to spend the night at grandma's because her sugar bottomed out and the paramedics wouldn't let her stay home unless someone came over.  Well I was the lucky person that gave up my evening to go over there.  Normally I would have been happy to do so but it was Thursday night and ten minutes before Impractical Jokers came on.  I watch one show on TV and somehow it always gets interrupted.  So she calls me and asks if I can come over I said I would but could she wait an hour so I could watch my show first and the paramedics said no.  I drove all the way over there missing my show and the pie I had made, and had to sleep in the uncomfortable bed and then she bitched about taking me out to breakfast the next morning.  Ungrateful much?  I ended up watching the episode on iTunes the next day while eating my special peanut butter pie but it was still an inconvenience.  When I told my therapist the above happening she both laughed and said it was inconsiderate of me to have asked if I could watch my show before going over.  

On a more positive note (or would it be negative?) it has yet to be seen how it plays out long term, but Voloyda and I have mutually decided on a platonic relationship.  We decided to separate two months ago with no hard feeling on either side and it has gone quite well.  We still hang out occasionally as friends and there have been no issues, apparently he's been seeing someone new.  I've also been going out with a new partner.  I met them (preferred pronoun they/them/their) online in a genderfluid group and found out they live in my city so we've been out several times.  I shall call them 'S' for simplicity.  We attended Pride together which was fun and I learned how to drive a stick shift after S got too buzzed to drive us back to my house.

I am quite happy to say that I am officially over David as my special interest.  I thought Impractical Jokers would replace him but it hasn't and now I've been special interest-less and it's so boring.  What the hell am I supposed to do all day without a special interest to occupy me?  I've been looking into things but so far nothing has stuck.  Hopefully I'll find something soon because life is rather boring with only my minor special interests to occupy me.

Break Up with Silas/Autism Evaluation

Sorry I haven't updated in so long.  I'll make it up to you, I have several posts planned for this weekend.  Quite a bit going on with me.  Silas and I broke up.  My Grandmother broke her face.  I'm being evaluated for autism.  I've been dating a bit.  My class is going well.

Silas and I broke up.  He said that he could no longer handle the annoyances, insanity and talk about other men.  And Voloyda.  I understand that I'm annoying.  I understand that I'm not totally sane.  I understand Voloyda.  Not really sure I understand the talking about other men, Silas did agree to an open relationship and I never actually went out with anyone else.  We're still friendly though, let's hope he doesn't turn crazy like Voloyda did.  And while we're talking about Voloyda, Silas and I broke up and I told Dima who then told Voloyda who then sent Silas some semi threatening messages including:

• I just got an interesting text from my brother.  I told you not to hurt her.  What the fuck man?  I am NOT pleased.
• Fucking Tosser.
• Hanging out with your girl you stupid, stupid man.
• If she has another breakdown and winds up in the hospital because of you, you had best believe she won't be the only one in there.
• Bout to sleep with your girl brother.

For the record: I didn't have a breakdown.  And I most definitely did not sleep with Voloyda.

My grandmother fell at her house and totally bashed her face up.  It was horrible: black eyes, non-stop nosebleeds, bruises all over.  She didn't want to be home alone so I ended up staying over at her house with her for a couple days.  And after I left she got another really bad nosebleed and had to go back to hospital.  And then she ended up staying at my aunts' for two weeks.  She's back home now though.

I am being evaluated for whether I have an autism spectrum disorder.  I had my evaluation appointments and now just waiting for the results.  It was basically just two, two hour appointments where they asked me a bunch of questions about my habits.  And there were several packets to fill out.  My mother filled out an Asperger's checklist for me; out of seventy-five questions only four weren't checked and those were things like 'responds to name' and 'can count to ten.'  We shall see how it goes.  I find out the 31st.

Since Silas broke up with me, I've been dating a bit.  I went on a date with this one guy but it didn't really work out.  I'm talking to this other guy.  We've been on a couple of dates and have another scheduled for this Friday.

School is going really well.  I've done really well on my last few papers.  Especially the last one I wrote.  The topic was: Is life worth living and why I am alive.  I got a 100% and the comment that I am a 'brilliant genius.'  I really enjoyed writing the paper and I think it gives a lot of insight about my reasons for living.  I may post it on here.

School Update/Cedar Point

I haven't updated in a while so here's everything that's been going on.

Silas and I went and got an oil change and tire rotation for my car.  Everything went fine, we paid and left, we pulled out of the parking lot and you could feel the car going THUNK, THUNK, THUNK.  We stopped.  We looked at the car.  The tire wasn't put back on correctly.  On the right front tire, two of the lug nuts were so loose you could unscrew them with your hand.  What the hell?  How do you forget to screw all the lug nuts back on?  They were visibly loose.  How do you not notice that?  So we drove back to the shop and they tightened all the lug nuts.  The manager assured us that 'this rarely happens' and gave us a couple of coupons for a free oil change.

School is going semi-well.  I really enjoy my psychology class but I absolutely loathe my sign language class.  I'm horrible at it.  I can understand the signs themselves but I can't understand the facial expressions and body language that accompany them.  I think I'm going to drop the class and take a different language course in the future.  I'd much prefer to learn Russian but they don't offer it at the school I'm attending.  I may wait until I transfer schools and see if they offer it.

Last week at school, I was just standing there playing on my phone and some guy came up and asked me if I was 'all there.'  I don't even think I was doing anything weird at the time either.  I couldn't really think of a response so I just sort of stared at him for a few seconds and then walked off, which I'm sure confirmed his suspicions that I'm not 'all there.'  How exactly are you supposed to respond to something like that?  "Are you all there?"  "I don't know, are you incredibly rude?"

Silas and I went to Cedar Point last Saturday, which while fun probably wasn't the best idea because I had a cold.  Between the crowds and noise and lines and everything I usually always have some sort of meltdown in places like that and this time was no different.  Silas left me alone so he could go on a ride I didn't want to go on and when he came back I was gone and he had to go and look for me.  He left me in a particularly crowded area and it became a bit overwhelming so I went somewhere else.  He didn't really leave me alone for the rest of the day for fear that I would wander off and he wouldn't be able to find me.  Though we each had phones so even if I had wandered off he could have just called or texted.  If he had called me, I may not have been able to hear it though because I wore earplugs the entire time.  It's far too loud without them, but I don't think it was good to wear them for the 11 hours we were there because my ears still hurt.  I did have a lot of fun though, so I guess it was worth it.

That's pretty much all that happened.  I do have a couple of conversations with Voloyda to add but I shall post those at a later date.

Better Than Last Week

I had a pretty bad time with everything last week but I'm doing much better now.  I wasn't actively suicidal but I was considering checking myself into a psychiatric facility but didn't.  My mother is trying to find me a new psychiatrist and possibly a psychologist as well.  The person I see now is not working and I need someone else before I have another psychotic break.  Other than me feeling like I'm losing my mind I'm doing okay.

I can back home last Sunday.  I'm working on getting my car repaired from the accident.  My back and neck no longer hurt.  Silas and I are doing well.  I'm looking forward to the family reunion next weekend.  And I get to get out of the house for a week by dog/cat/turtle-sitting at my aunt's starting the day after the reunion.  I'm not sure if I'm more excited for the family reunion or house-sitting at my aunt's.  I love my family but I also love my aunt's dog Titus and getting away from my parents.

The one problem (besides me losing my mind) that I have right now is that Voloyda is driving me mad.  I know he thinks he's helping, trying to get me to go after David but he's not and it's really getting on my nerves.  I could throttle him, I really, really could.  At least he hasn't told me where David is.

My step-sister and her husband and annoying children came down from Canada for the holiday weekend.  I'm not a fan of children to begin with and her children are more annoying than most.  Especially since my room is directly below the kitchen and they think jumping up and down on the floor while shrieking is an acceptable activity at 7:30 in the morning.  I am an evening person.  I stay up late and sleep in and when I've been up until 4:30 I don't want to be woken up three hours later by screeching children.

Not a Very Good Week

This week has so far been rather bad.  I've been involved in a car accident, had a complete meltdown over Silas, almost been forcibly committed into the psychiatric hospital by my therapist and, been told by my mother to get out of the house.

So on Monday when I was heading over to see Silas, there was a wicked storm going on and all the traffic lights were out.  It was totally awesome; I love thunderstorms.  So the traffic lights came back on just before I crossed the bridge.  I get to the other side and get stopped by the light and BOOM.  The lady behind me smashed right into me and I in turn hit the person in front of me.  My front bumper was totally fine as was the car in front of me but my back bumper is like fucked up.  And the car of the person who hit me was trashed.  Her hood was folded in like an accordion.  It looked bad.  No one was injured though so the police didn't come.  It didn't set in right away but I have a wicked case of Whiplash.  My neck fucking hurts.  I can't turn it to the right at all.  Oh well, I'm not overly concerned about it.  It'll heal up.

So I finally meet up with Silas and went out to eat, played Frisbee, went to his house, watched Netflix, went to my house, made some cookies, I had a meltdown.  He did something and then I got upset and then he got upset and I started crying and then he started crying.  And I got mad that he was crying.  And then we stopped crying and watched Mulan and he went home.  So that happened.

Tuesday I had therapy and my therapist said I seemed 'off' and kept asking me if I was suicidal.  I sort of am but not enough to actually kill myself or anything.  There's a difference between wanting to die and not wanting to live.  So then she called my mother and told her to keep an eye on me and make sure I didn't kill myself.

So then yesterday my mother responded to my therapist's advice to watch me by telling me I need to get out of the house.  So last night I left.

Overall not a very good week.  I just don't feel like dealing with this shit anymore.

Busy Day

I had a very busy day today.  Silas and I went and seen the midnight showing of Spiderman 2.  I didn't get home until 3am.  Then I had to get up at 8 to go to the Goodwill job fair.  I think it went well (fingers crossed, wish me luck).  My parents are leaving for Aruba tomorrow so I was helping them pack.  Then my mother and I went to my cousin Ryker's play at 7pm.  That let out at 10.  Then we had to take some of my relatives back to their houses.  I did not get a picture of Ryker in his costume but I will hopefully have one tomorrow to post on here.

I did give one of my Stalking My Ex-Boss business cards to a guy I'll call "James."  James is a manager at The Store.  He is the one who kicked me out and told me not to come back on the day I was banned.  He's dating the adoptive mother of my adopted cousin's brother (confusing, I know).

Today was very busy and exciting.  I have not had time to research earthquakes yet but will definitely do so tomorrow. 

EDIT: I'm not sure exactly when it happened but I found out 6/17 that James broke up with my cousin's brother's mother.  I also heard that he's hung and really good in bed but it's like fucking a teenager on account of him being so skinny.

Older Guy at Walmart

Days until restraining order is lifted: 17

I was almost beat down for talking to some guy at the store the other day.  The guy was older, early 50's-ish, but he was totally hot and he looked like Alan Rickman.  He was standing in front of me in line and I told him I thought he looked nice and we were chatting a bit.  And then this woman came out of nowhere and started screaming at me for flirting with her husband.  I swear I thought she was going to punch me.  We were just talking, it's not like I asked him out or anything, and the man was not wearing a wedding ring.  And when I pointed this out to her, she started screaming at him for not wearing his wedding ring.  (If this is her normal behavior, I understand why he wasn't wearing the ring.)  I feel bad for this man with his harpy of a wife.  Sorry I got you in trouble bro. 

Facebook Official

Days until restraining order is lifted: 185

Silas and I are now officially dating.  It's Facebook official.  Voloyda of course saw it, pitched a fit, and threatened to stab him like he "did to Little Ivan."  Such a charming man.  So since Silas and I started going out my dad threatened to shoot him and Voloyda threatened to stab him.  He's quite resilient though, still interested anyway. 

Silas Part 2

Days until restraining order is lifted: 212

My internet has been down for a week and a half and finally got it hooked back up today.  Yay internet! 

Things are going very well between Silas and I.  Date number 7 is scheduled for Saturday. 

Third date we went bowling then back to my house for a few movies. 

Fourth date we went to the mall for a few hours then went out to eat at this awesome stir-fry place I’d never been to and then we caught a couple movies at the drive-in.  I don’t really like horror movies and we saw “The Conjuring.”  That shit was scary.  I won’t be doing that again anytime soon.  “We’re The Millers” was the subsequent movie, just as funny as it was the first time, and it helped to wipe The Conjuring from my mind.

Fifth date we went to the zoo and then chilled at his house.  He was so excited about the zoo.  He said he hadn’t been there in over three years.  That is just sad.  We watched “Dogma,” which was fucking awesome.  Alan Rickman, whoop whoop!  LOL.  “Olympus Has Fallen” and “Pirates of the Caribbean.”

Sixth date, which was yesterday, he came over for dinner and met my parents and my sister and her husband.  My dad took him out to the garage with my sister’s husband while my mother, sister and I got the kitchen together.  Silas later told me when they were in the garage my father pulled out and gun and threatened to shoot him if he hit me.  Great dad, this is why I don’t bring my dates home.  It apparently didn’t faze him too much because he ended up staying the night.  We watched “Dark Shadows,” “Tower Heist” and “Horrible Bosses.”  Well my parents are going to the theater Saturday to see “Wicked” and Silas is going to come over.  We’ll probably just hang out, maybe go out to dinner

Silas

Days until restraining order is lifted: 220

So things are going quite well with Silas.  We had our first date. We went and saw “We’re The Millers,” which was hilarious.  Our second date we went to Maumee Bay Park and walked the boardwalk for a few hours then went back to his house and watched a few movies.  Third date which is tonight we’re probably going to go bowling.  He’s a really nice guy (unlike the previous assholes I've dated) and we get along really well.

Conversation with Voloyda 15

Days until restraining order is lifted: 228

V: Oh well anyway good luck with that guy your seeing, Robert or whatever?

O: His name is Richard. And I've only been talking to him for 2 days.

V: Well what about that other guy your talking to?

V: Blaine?

O: That didn't work out.

V: I thought you liked him.

O: I did. He changed his mind. Couldn't get over the age gap.

V: Oh. Sorry.

V: You could always give me another shot.

O: How about no.

V: Come on. You know you love me.

O: Okay this conversation is over.

This was the conversation Voloyda and I had about an hour after the previous one.  It didn’t work out between Blaine and I.  Oh well, but I am talking to this new guy “Silas.”  We have tentative dinner and movie plans for Friday.  He’s 27 which is rather young but I didn’t really have a lot in common with guys in their 50’s.

House Sitting

Days until restraining order is lifted: 232

I’ve been so busy this past week.  I went on my date with Blaine.  It went really well.  I like him.  He’s so easy to talk to.  I may go out with him again, probably sometime next week. 

I’ve been getting headaches for the past week and I think I know what’s been causing them.  I have an ear infection.  Isn't that wonderful?  It’s not bad pain wise, the only time I really notice is when I’m eating something, it’s sort of achy and it radiates down to my jaw.  It doesn’t hurt but it itches like you would not believe.  And there’s not really an easy way to scratch deep inside your ear.  It’s driving me mad.

I get to get away from my parents for a week by watching my aunt’s house while she’s out of town.  I can hang out in the living room without being nagged at incessantly.  I only have to take care of the dog, cat, and turtle.  I did the same last year, so taking care of them should be no problem.  And it doesn’t hurt that her dog acts like mine used to.  He’s such a sweet baby, when he’s not digging his claws into my leg or trying to sit on me.  

Titus just loves to lay on people.  Here's him crushing me the last time I watched him.

Blaine

Days until restraining order is lifted: 239

I've been talking to this new guy 'Blaine.'  He seems like a decent guy.  We’re going out on Sunday.  We were supposed to go out on Wednesday after he got off work but I sort of panicked and cancelled.  He wanted me to meet him at 11:30 at night.  It made me a little wary so we rescheduled for Sunday afternoon.  He works at the same company as my mother except whereas she works first shift he works second.  He’s younger than what I was looking for but I'll give it a shot.  I added him on Facebook and of course Voloyda has to involve himself in my business and pester me.  I swear his goal in life is to drive me insane.

Turned Down at the Movies

Days until restraining order is lifted: 249

Theo and I went to the movies today (we saw “The Heat” which was hilarious and I totally want to see it again and “Despicable Me 2” it was good but not as good as the first one) and there was this super-hot guy in his 50’s that works there.  So as we were leaving the first movie I saw this guy and was all like ‘Theo he is so hot.  I need to go talk to him.’ And Theo was like ‘No!’ and so we went and wandered the mall for an hour.  So when we came back for the next movie he was still there and I said I was going to talk to him.  Theo and I got our seats in the theater and I went in search of this man.  I swear he was avoiding me, every time I got close to him he would go either behind the ticket counter or into what I assume was an office (I couldn’t really see into it).  I eventually, after about 20 minutes, succeeded in catching him and this was our conversation:

Me: Excuse me, sir?

Him: Yes, how can I help you?

Me: Well I was wondering if you were, you know, seeing anyone?

Him: What?
Me: Maybe you'd like to go out with me sometime?

Him: Oh, um, yeah.  I’m already taken.

Me: Oh.  Sorry.  *awkward silence*  This is really awkward.  I'll just go back to my movie now.

I went back to my theater and when I told Theo what happened he laughed at me.  That’s not even the worst part the guy is like a manager at the theater.  I’ll bet he’s there every time I go to see a movie from now on.

Danny

Days until restraining order is lifted: 267

My sunburn is finally going away but now it’s all blistered.  Ouch.  At least it doesn’t sting anymore.

I’ve been talking to this guy from Craigslist named “Danny.”  He has piercings and tattoos.  It’s not very often you see older guys with piercings.  That’s totally hot.

Break Up

Days until restraining order is lifted: 278

It didn’t work out between Greg and I, Oh well.  We really didn’t have that much in common.  We had an argument last night and it pissed me off and I put another ad on Craigslist.  Then this morning he wanted me to come over so we could have sex.  What the fuck man?  I just met you.  I told him that was weird.  He told me it wasn’t going to work out.  Whatever.  I got 47 responses to my ad and a date tomorrow with a man that looks like Alan Rickman.

Getting to Know Greg

Days until restraining order is lifted: 284

Well, I haven’t updated in a few days.  I have a wicked bad cold; fever, cough, runny rose, headache.  It fucking sucks.  Who the hell gets sick in the summer anyway?  Lucky me.

Greg and I continue to talk.  We might go out again next week.  He totally noticed Theo following us.  (Dammit Theo!  Way to be stealthy!)  I guess Greg wasn’t as unobservant I as thought.  Good for him.  It’s nice to be talking to a guy who actually pays attention to what’s going on around him.

My step-father is having surgery and I have to be home to take care of him.  Yay me!  I’m so excited!  Not.  Why he couldn’t have had this surgery before my mother went back to work I have no idea.  She was off for 10 months.  He couldn’t have done it then?  Of course not, he gets scheduled four days after she returns to work.  What the bloody fucking hell?

Some asshole backed up into my car and bent the shit out of my license plate.  It pissed me off.  At least it was only the license plate.  I should be able to straighten it out.  Now where did I put that hammer?  LOL

Date with Greg Part 2

Days until restraining order is lifted: 288

Well Greg and I went on our date yesterday.  I had Theo follow us to make sure the man didn’t kill me.  Theo had on this super bright blue and purple shirt.  Does he not know how to be inconspicuous?  Men, they have no sense of stealth.  It didn’t help that Greg held the door open for him when we left the restaurant.  Fortunately, Greg like most men was remarkably unobservant.  LOL.

So Theo and I arrived at the restaurant 30 minutes early and explained the situation to the hostess

H: So table for two?

T: Well kind of

O: There’s three of us but we need to be at different tables

T: She has a date. But hasn’t met the man so I’m here to make sure she’s safe

O: So if we could get tables near each other so he could see what’s going on

H: So you want it to be like secret

T: Yes

H: How about a table separated by a wall

O: That would be perfect

So Theo was seated in a two person booth on one side of the wall and I was seated in a booth on the other.  Our waitresses were so funny they kept coming over and talking to us.  Telling us about similar situations they had.  And when Greg got there they kept coming over and asking how everything was. 

That dinner was the most awkward meal I have ever experienced.  We don’t really have anything in common and I had no idea what to talk about.  It didn’t help that he lied about how many children he has.  When we were texting he said he had 2 children but, at dinner he said he had three.  And one of his daughters is named “October” as well.  That’s weird I didn’t really think my name was that common.  After we ate we decided to go over to the mall and see a movie (the mall was right across the street).  We were walking out and Theo was right behind us.  Greg ended up holding the door open for him.  Theo said later that they made direct eye-contact. 

Theo started walking over to the mall and Greg was ahead of me so I picked Theo up.  He jumped out when we got to the mall and agreed to meet in the food court.  I went and parked and met him there, Greg arrived a few minutes later.  Theo went up to the theater while Greg ran to the bathroom.  Greg and I went up and bought our tickets.  Greg and I sat in the middle of the last row and Theo sat the row in front of us to the right.  We watched the movie.  When it was over we left the theater and once again Greg ended up holding the door for Theo.  How he didn’t notice it was the same man from the restaurant I have no idea.  Men are so unperceptive.  I always notice when people are following me, though that may be because with Voloyda I’m used to having to watch out for people.  The man has me paranoid.

Overall the date was awkward but what first date isn’t awkward?  It was awkward but not necessarily bad.  But I don't think I'll go out with him again.  We don't really have anything in common.  I’ll probably text him tomorrow.   

I had to get up at 6:30 today to help with our garage sale and I am so tired.  I never get up that early.  On the plus side I made $56.  And my psychiatrist finally agreed to change my meds.  I am so happy about that.  The stuff I’ve been taking does not work.  I’ve been begging her to change them for months.  Goodbye Prozac, Hello Effexor.  Hope these new pills work.  Keeping my fingers crossed.