Voloyda’s Craziness Part 12

Days until restraining order is lifted: 326

I swear Voloyda exists solely to irritate me.  I haven’t seen him in particular following me but I did see several suspicious individuals trailing me over the last few days.  Three people to be exact; two men, both of whom were wearing a suit and fedora and a woman wearing a fur hat and coat.  It is 55 degrees out.  Who wears a fur coat in 55 degree weather?  I believe the men that followed me may be Voloyda’s younger brother and their cousin but I did not recognize the woman.  What is wrong with these people?  You would think that if you were going to follow someone you would make a little more effort to blend in.  A three-piece suit?  A fur coat?  Are you fucking kidding me?  Are all Russian people completely insane?  Voloyda has people following me.  I almost can’t believe it.  I wish I had never dated this lunatic.

Conversation with Voloyda 4

Days until restraining order is lifted: 327

I re-friended Voloyda today.  Thirty seconds later he messages me, “You added me back.  I love you.”  Then we had this conversation:

V: Did you know that David and his wife were divorced and then remarried.

O: OMG.  That is fascinating.
V: Really?!
O: No
V: I guess I set myself up for that one.
O: Yes. Yes you did.

I don’t know why but I found our conversation hilarious.

Missing The Store

Days until restraining order is lifted: 328

It has been two months since I was banned from The Store.  I miss it.  Well maybe not The Store so much as Annette and Minerva.  I haven’t spoken to either of them for a month and a half.  Dammit Voloyda.  Why the fuck did you follow David to his house.  And more importantly why did I say it was me.  I’m not going to protect him any longer.  If I see him following me again I will call the police. 

Voloyda’s Craziness Part 11

Voloyda pissed me off so bad the other day that I finally blocked him from my Facebook and told him I was going to file a restraining order.  Then I hear from Theo that Voloyda was messaging him telling him that I should re-friend him.  What really sent me over the edge was the statement: “You’re doing to me exactly what Annette did to you.”  It upset me greatly and I broke down and cried for 35 minutes.  I’ll unblock him in a few days after I calm down.  I’ll make Voloyda sweat as he worries whether he’ll be slapped with a restraining order.  Maybe it’ll do him some good.  He deserves it.  Maybe he’ll even leave me alone.  I haven’t seen him since so maybe he finally got the idea that I want nothing to do with him. 

Suicide Support Group

Days until restraining order is lifted: 329

My half-sister Andie called me today to tell me about a support group for suicidal people.  It meets once a month and is right down the street from my house.  She said she thought it would be good for me, that maybe I could make some friends.  Because we all know I’m not miserable enough I should go hang out with a group of other suicidal people.  Maybe we can swap ideas.  That sounds like a brilliant plan.  LOL.  Maybe I’ll go.  It would be nice to meet some people who know what I’m going through.  The reason Annette and I got along so well was because she has a lot of the same issues I do.  I don’t know; might be worth checking out. 

Phobia List

Days until restraining order is lifted: 330

Here is the list of everything I am afraid of.  It is quite long and ever-growing.

1.      Accidents

2.      Alligators

3.      Anxiety

4.      Appendicitis

5.      Asymmetrical objects

6.      Attacked -being

7.      Atomic explosions

8.      Babies

9.      Bees

10.  Beetles

11.  Birds

12.  Bitten - being

13.  Brain diseases

14.  Buried alive - being

15.  Butterflies

16.  Calling people on the telephone

17.  Cancer

18.  Cannibals

19.  Centipedes

20.  Chainsaws

21.  Childbirth

22.  Children

23.  Choking

24.  Cholera

25.  Churches

26.  Clowns

27.  Cockroaches

28.  Completely isolated - being

29.  Contaminated with dirt or germs - being

30.  Contracting a disease

31.  Crickets

32.  Crocodiles

33.  Crowds

34.  Death of close family

35.  Dentists

36.  Dirty – being

37.  Dolls

38.  Drowning

39.  Ducks

40.  Dysentery

41.  Earthquakes

42.  Electrocuted - being

43.  Expressing opinions

44.  Failure

45.  Falling or being pushed off a ladder

46.  Flies

47.  Floods

48.  Gallstones

49.  Germs

50.  Heart attacks

51.  Heights

52.  Hit by a car - being

53.  House burning down

54.  Hurricanes

55.  Imperfections

56.  Insanity

57.  Insects

58.  Jellyfish

59.  Judged negatively in social situations - being

60.  Kidney disease

61.  Ladybugs

62.  Laughed at - being

63.  Leprosy/Lepers

64.  Lice

65.  Lit on fire - being

66.  Lizards

67.  Mauled by bears – being

68.  Mauled by elephants – being

69.  Mauled by lions – being

70.  Mauled by tigers – being

71.  Mercury

72.  Missiles

73.  Mobs

74.  Monsoons

75.  Mosquitos

76.  Moths

77.  Noxious airborne substances

78.  Nuclear weapons

79.  Oleander

80.  Open high spaces

81.  Open spaces in general

82.  Other peoples shoes

83.  Outside

84.  Parasites

85.  People

86.  People with amputations

87.  Pitied – being

88.  Poisoned – being

89.  Poliomyelitis

90.  Prison

91.  Public toilets

92.  Pushed down the stairs – being

93.  Rabies

94.  Radiation

95.  Raped – being

96.  Rats

97.  Ridiculed – being

98.  Riots

99.  Risk

100.                      Robbed – being

101.                      SARS

102.                      Scabies

103.                      Scarlet fever

104.                      Scorpions

105.                      Sharks

106.                      Shingles

107.                      Shot – being

108.                      Skin lesions

109.                      Smallpox

110.                      Soccer riots

111.                      Society

112.                      Speaking in public

113.                      Spiders

114.                      Stabbed – being

115.                      Stared at – being

116.                      Submarines

117.                      Suffocated – being

118.                      Tap water

119.                      Tapeworms

120.                      Termites

121.                      Tetanus

122.                      The Mafia

123.                      Toads

124.                      Tornadoes

125.                      Touched - being

126.                      Tuberculosis

127.                      Tulips

128.                      Venomous snakes

129.                      Ventriloquists dummies

130.                      Walking over bridges

131.                      War

132.                      Wasps

133.                      Worms

Therapy

I had an appointment with my therapist today and on the way there Theo and I saw a homeless man with a “Will work 4 food” sign.  We were stopped at the intersection and the man was standing about three cars behind us.  I opened Theo’s window and shouted “Hey homeless guy.  Come here, I’ll give you a dollar.”  Theo handed the man the dollar and he walked away.  After we made it through the intersection Theo turned to me with a death glare and said “He touched me.”  I can’t remember the last time I laughed that hard.

We got to my therapist’s 10 minutes early and were sitting in the waiting room.  She comes out “Hi! I’ll be with you in just a minute!”  Theo looks at me.  “That’s your therapist?  She needs a therapist.  She is like totally wired.”  I don’t know why I found that so hilarious but I couldn’t stop laughing.  And then the session started and she got me all depressed about my dead dog.  Dammit.  I was actually happy and then she had to go and ruin it. 

Voloyda’s Craziness Part 10

Days until restraining order is lifted: 331

Damn it Voloyda.  I am afraid of many things but dying is not one of them.  If you’re going to threaten me, threaten me with clowns or moths or heights or lizards or soccer riots.  In fact I have of list containing over 100 things that I am afraid of.  Death is not one of them.  Do not threaten to kill me.  Threatening to kill someone who is suicidal nearly every day is not very fucking effective.  In fact it just serves to piss me off.  You say you’re going to kill me.  I say “Come at me, bro.”

Hit by a Car

Days until restraining order is lifted: 333

I got hit by a fucking car the other day while I was trying to cross the street and the police tried to throw me back in the nut house.  I swear you try to kill yourself one time by getting run over and everyone thinks you’re a fucking nut.  I was honestly just trying to cross the street.  If I was going to kill myself why would I try a way that I had already failed at before?  It makes no sense.  I can think of a dozen ways to die that would be more effective.  What the hell.  The police sure are fucking stupid.  At least they didn’t lock me up. 

Voloyda’s Craziness Part 9

Days until restraining order is lifted: 334

I met with Voloyda yesterday afternoon outside his apartment.  He kept trying to get me to go upstairs to his flat with him.  I said no.  I have no problem with seeing him in an arranged meeting in public but I’m not going to meet with him in private.  Especially since he said he was going to kill me.  Also there’s the fact that I cannot legally enter his apartment building because David lives there.  David filing the restraining order has actually been quite useful.  It is preventing me from purchasing a gun which is keeping me alive and it gives me another reason to stay away from Voloyda.  As if I don’t have enough reasons already.  LOL.  Oh well.  One month down eleven to go. 

Voloyda’s Craziness Part 8

Days until restraining order is lifted: 335

Today is Voloyda’s birthday.  He invited me to his party which while it would be totally awesome is an incredibly bad idea.  Voloyda’s family has 40 acres out in the country.  He always throws the absolute best parties.  If I didn’t know that going would lead to him hitting on me nonstop the entire night, I would totally go.  He makes people sign liability wavers on the way in due to some accidents that have occurred in the past.  One time this guy tried to do a backflip off the barn and he landed on his head and cracked his skull open.  Another time this man snuck up behind a horse and got kicked in the throat and it severed his trachea and he died.  That was really bad.  I don’t think he’s ever had a party where someone wasn’t seriously injured.  But the parties were always really fun.  At least until the police showed up and shut them down. 

Conversation with Voloyda 3

Days until restraining order is lifted: 336

I updated my Facebook status that I was ‘happy to be alive.’  Not even thirty seconds after posting it I received a call from Theo asking what was wrong and if I was going to kill myself.  Apparently he found my happiness very suspicious.  I was actually just happy.  That happiness lasted all of 23 minutes until Voloyda began posting shit.  Here is the conversation that ensued:

O: Happy to be alive.
V: Sorry for saying I was going to kill you
O: Um.  Thank you.  I guess.
V: Your not going to file a restraining order rite
O: No.
V: Why not
O: Because that would be rude.
V: Bet you wish David was of the same opinion
O: To be fair the man was being followed.
V: But not by you.
O: I know that.  You know that.  David does not know that.
V: You could’ve told him
O: He wouldn’t have believed me.  And it’s really not that hard to stay away from someone I have no interest in.
V: I guess
O: I do miss going to The Store though.  And Annette.

O: And the restraining order is the only thing that’s keeping me alive.
V: Why
O: Due to the restraining order I can’t purchase a gun

V: There are other ways to get a gun
O: Why so if I fail to die, I end up with a felony weapons violation.  I’m crazy not stupid.
V: Please don’t kill yourself
O: I have no intention of dying anytime soon
V: We should go on a date

O: NO

V: Fine be that way.  I hate you

There goes my good mood.  Every conversation we have ends with him either calling me a ‘stupid bitch’ or saying ‘Fine be that way.  I hate you.’  He’s like a fucking four-year-old who doesn’t get his way.  It’s irritating.

Ryker’s Play Part 2

Here's Ryker as Daddy Warbucks.  He looks quite dashing, yes?  Though I admit I may be a little biased.  The play was quite good.  I thought it was the best he's been in so far.  He is quite the talented actor.

Ryker’s Play

Days until restraining order is lifted: 337

Going to my cousin Ryker's school play tonight.  He's playing Daddy Warbucks in Annie.  Sounds like fun.  He's been practicing for months so he had better be fucking good.  Just kidding.  He's always good.  In his last play he was Fonzie in Happy Days.  Ayyy! 

Conversation with Voloyda 2

Days until restraining order is lifted: 338

This is a ‘conversation,’ and I use that term very loosely, I had with Voloyda on Facebook yesterday evening.  I posted a status bitching about him hiding in the bushes and this is what ensued: (text in italics means it was translated from Russian)

O: Who the fuck hides in someone’s bushes wearing a three-piece-suit.

V: Sorry I’ll do it a nite next time

O: You already did.  And I noticed you anyway

V: Well sorreeeee.  I’m not as good at spying on people as you are.

O: Please leave me alone or I will call the police
O: And stay out of my yard
O: And the neighbors
O: What the fuck kind of person hides in a bush.
V: I love you
V: Wha’d you log out for
V: Come back
V: I need you
V: My love for you burns like a thousand suns
V: I’ll send you some roses
V: I love you
V: Darien smiled today
V: R u still gonna watch Darien and Natasha tomorrow
V: Natasha says I love you
V: I love you
V: Lets get back together
V: You’re my world
V: Morning without you is a dwindled dawn
V: Dumb bitch
V: I am going to kill you
V: Fine be that way
V: I hate you

He used to call me like thirty times a day, until I blocked his number.  Now we have these kinds of ‘conversations’ on Facebook.  And he always, ALWAYS, says things in Russian.  I am not Russian.  I do not know a whole lot of Russian.  The Russian I do know, I picked up from him when we were dating and it consists of mostly pleasantries, ‘baby talk,’ curses, and some random phrases and words.  Which means every time he says something in Russian I have to fucking translate it.  It’s a pain in the ass and makes talking with all the more stressful.  The only reason I don’t block him altogether is because I’m waiting for him to say something incriminating so I can got to the police. 

Voloyda’s Craziness Part 7

Days until restraining order is lifted: 339

When I went to pick up my godchildren the other day, this is what Voloyda was wearing.  He’s usually carrying a cane as well.  He looks like a fucking mobster.  What I don’t understand is how David hasn’t noticed this man following him.  He just looks like he’s up to something.  I know if I ran into this man more than once I would be suspicious.  David has got to be the most unobservant man on the planet. 

Word of advice: if you’re going to hide in foliage maybe you should wear camouflage or basically anything other than a three piece suit and fedora. Who the fuck puts on a suit to hide in someone’s bushes?  Hello!  Could you be any more noticeable?

Voloyda’s Craziness Part 6

That even more terrifying moment when you come home from a movie at 12:30 in the morning and your ex-boyfriend is sitting in your neighbor's tree.  It's raining outside.  Does he really not have anything better to do?  What if I hadn't come home; would he have sat there all night?  This is really creepy.  If Voloyda keeps this up I will have no choice but to call the police.