On
my last post about social cues a couple of people expressed interest in another
post on the subject. Here are some more
social norms I’ve noticed.
- When
talking to someone try to make sure your comments go with the
conversation. For example if someone
says ‘I bought a new car.’ Your response should not be ‘I read a book about 18th
century France.’ I have a hard time with this one. If I don’t know what to say I’ll either say
nothing which makes for long awkward pauses or I’ll say the first thing that
comes into my head, which if it doesn’t relate to the conversation also creates
awkward pauses. Try to make sure your
statements are relevant.
- When
one is in a public place whether it be at a store, restaurant, or school it is
important to leave your shoes on your feet.
- When
in an elevator make sure you’re facing the door. It’s considered odd to face the back of the
elevator. This is true for most
elevators unless the elevator has a glass back that you can see out of. It’s still rather odd but not as odd as to
just be staring at the back wall.
- Try
not to talk to yourself in public. People
will think you are crazy. I usually try
to contain it, but if I can’t I’ll put headphones in (the apple ones that have
the mouth piece) so people think I’m talking on the phone.
- Don’t
bring unusual or unnecessary objects with you out in public. This is more acceptable for children but as
you get older you’re expected to stop bringing useless items with you. Because I move around so much and am easily
distracted, I usually have a few things in my backpack to help keep me
focused. I bring a few fidget toys with
me to class every day because I listen much better when I have something to do
with my hands.
- Don’t
sit down on the floor in public places, especially if there is a chair. I’ve found that there are several exceptions
to this though. It is acceptable to sit
on the floor at school if you are waiting in the hallway for your class. And you can sit on the ground outside but
only if you’re either sitting on the curb or steps or at a park or like a
grassy area.
- Don’t
criticize people who haven’t asked you to do so unless it’s absolutely
necessary (e.g. they are about to fail an important project or embarrass
themselves in some way). I tend to be
very blunt and overly honest with people.
For example: if someone comes up and asks you how they look in their new
outfit and you think they look terrible, it’s probably not a good idea to voice
that particular opinion. Instead you
should say something like: ‘that really isn’t your color’ or ‘you’d look better
with a different style of shirt.’
- Don’t
refuse to shake someone’s hand. I have
trouble with this one. Because I don’t
like to touch people, especially people I don’t know very well (as is often the
case with hand shaking, you will rarely be expected to shake hands with people
you’ve met more than a couple times). I
used to, and still do, occasionally, refuse to shake people’s hands.
- Don’t
pepper your conversations with phrases from another language or with obscure
words or phrasing that most people won’t understand. For example: if you are talking to your
friend, unless your friend happens to be a Russian doctor, it would be out of
place to start speaking in Russian and using advanced medical terminology.
- When
eating in public or with other people it is important to use the proper
utensils and not your hands.
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