Conversation with Voloyda 8

Here’s a conversation I just had with Voloyda on Facebook.

O: Voloyda why did you mail me this sock?

V: I thought it might cheer you up
O: Why?
V: I found it in David’s garbage
O: Ewww.

O: Ewww

O: That is so unsanitary I don’t even know what to say.
V: That could be his wanking sock.
O: You disgust me.  I need to wash my hands.
V: I thought it would make you happy
O: A nasty sock possibly covered in semen that you found in someone’s rubbish?

O: What is wrong with you?
V: I was just trying to cheer you up.  Besides don't you have a bloody band-aid of David's?
O: Possibly.
V: A bloody Band-Aid is way worse than a wanking sock.
O: No it isn’t.  Semen is worse than blood.
V: Whatever you say miss evens.

V: Did I succeed in cheering you up.
O: No you did not.  If you really want to make me happy you would leave me alone.

O: I’m only planning on being around for another 12 hours and I don’t want to spend them associating with you.  Goodbye. 

Why he thought a dirty possibly semen covered sock he dug out of a dustbin would make me happy I have no idea.  But I wish he would stop. 

Phone Calls

Days until restraining order is lifted: 315

I don’t know what to do.  I tried to call some friends but they won’t return my calls.  I told them it was an emergency.  They obviously don’t care about me.  I have nothing left to live for. 

Depression

Days until restraining order is lifted: 316

I’m feeling quite depressed and I don’t want to live anymore.  I spent the day researching ways to commit suicide.  I’m leaning toward carbon monoxide or helium poisoning or vehicular impact.  I would prefer ‘suicide by cop’ but I would have to get a gun.  My parents are out of town until Sunday, so if I want to try something, now would be the time to do it.  I tried to call some friends but they wouldn’t return my calls.  Oh well.  It doesn’t matter anymore anyway.  Will post tomorrow if I make it through the night.

Conversation with Voloyda 7

Days until restraining order is lifted: 317

I received a call from Voloyda’s older brother “Dima” telling me that Voloyda found the man that hit me and assaulted him.  I don’t know what I’d do without Dima to tell me what Voloyda’s up to.  At least with him I get a heads up before Voloyda does something stupid.  This is the conversation I had with Voloyda this morning:

V: I found the man that hit you and I took care of it.
O: I heard. What did you do to him?
V: Nothing permanent.  Let’s just say he won’t be bothering u or anyone else for along time.
O: That’s reassuring.  What did you do?
V: It is not important.

O: Of course it isn’t.
V: Who did you hear it from?

O: Don’t know what you’re talking about.

V: You said “I heard.”  What and who did you hear it from?
O: “It is not important.”
V: I’ll decide whether it’s important or not.  Who was it?
O: It is none of your concern.
V: Your protection is my concern.
O: This person means me no harm.  And you and I are not dating.  What concern is it of yours who I speak to?

O: I appreciate that you are trying to protect me but I can take care of myself and it’s not your job to take care of me.

V: It is my job.

O: No it’s not.  It ceased to be your job when we broke up.

V: Just because we broke up doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.

O: I know.  And I’m sorry but I don’t feel that way about you.

V: Fine.  See if I care. 

V: I hate you.

V: Stupid bitch.

Nicky Goober

Days until restraining order is lifted: 318

Here’s my baby Nicholas Goober.  Goober because he drooled.  A lot.  He died almost two years ago.  I miss him.  He was the best dog.  He was also incredibly stupid.  When he was a puppy he chewed through electrical cords and ate blankets and towels and anything else he could get his mouth on.  The blanket he ate got all tangled in his intestines and he had to have surgery.  That was a $1000 my parents never forgot.  He had doggy ADHD.  We used to have to give him pills to calm him down.  Four years ago he had a tumor removed.  That was another $500.  After the vet removed the tumor his incision kept bleeding and we had to lock him in the office overnight so he wouldn’t get blood all over the carpet.  I slept back there with him on the floor for three days.  Then, two years ago he got sick.  He couldn’t eat anything and when he did eat, he threw up.  You know it happens too often when cleaning up vomit doesn’t even faze you.  In the month that he was sick, he went from 148 pounds to 122 pounds.  We had to put him to sleep.  It was for the best.  That’s no way to live.  I miss him. 

Voloyda’s Craziness Part 13

Days until restraining order is lifted: 319

This morning my mother and I ran some errands and then I had her drop me off at the library.  I got what I needed and walked home.  I live about four blocks away from the library, about ten minutes walking distance.  You have to walk down a bunch of side streets to get to my house from the library so when the same car kept driving by again and again it was rather odd.  Of course it was Voloyda.  He said that he was protecting me.  Protecting me from what?  Who the hell is after me that I need to be protected?  This is fucking weird.  While it is rather disconcerting to have someone following me, it is also somewhat comforting knowing that if something were to happen he would be right there.  What the fuck did he drag me into?

Conversation with Voloyda 6

Days until restraining order is lifted: 320

Voloyda has people following me so when I was assaulted I assumed it was one of his people.  Apparently it wasn’t.  I had this conversation with him on Facebook after it happened.

O: Tell your friend if he comes at me again I will fucking taze him.
V: Who?
O: Your friend in the purple.
V: Why?  What did he do?
O: Smacked me with a cane.
V: What did he look like?
O: Short.  Young.  Asian.  Wearing a purple hoodie. 
V: He’s not one of mine.  I’ll take care of it.  It won’t happen again.
O: What are you going to do?  You don’t even know who he is.
V: I’ll find out who he is and I’ll take care of it.  And it’s none of your concern what happens to him. 

O: I don’t want you to beat him down.  Just leave it.  If it happens again I’ll call the police.
V: You are under my protection and everyone knows it.  He should not have approached you.

O: What do you mean ‘under your protection?’

V: It’s none of your concern.

O: Of course it’s not.  Stop following me and tell your friends to do the same.

V: I’m just trying to protect you

O: Of course you are.

I hope Voloyda doesn’t find out who hit me.  He beat the shit out of a friend of ours just because we went on one date.  I can’t imagine what he would do to someone who hit me. 

Conversation with Voloyda 5

Days until restraining order is lifted: 321

Voloyda messaged me on Facebook today asking me about David and someone named “Connery.”

V: Did David ever mention anyone named Connery?
O: I don’t know.
V: Yes you do.  Don’t lie
O: I don’t know anything any even if I did, I wouldn’t fucking tell you.
V: Fine be that way you stupid bitch
O: Piss off.
V: I think it’s his son that died.
O: If that’s true it’s very sad.  Quit prying into his business.  It is no concern of yours if he lost a child.

O: Quit telling me these things.  I don’t fucking care.
V: Your sleeping with him aren’t you.  You slut.

Voloyda is driving me insane.  His insistence that I am sleeping with David is ludicrous.  Despite all the evidence to the contrary he still thinks I am fucking David.  He has been following both David and I.  If I was sleeping with the man surely Voloyda would have seen me going into David's apartment or David at my house or David and I at a hotel.  What is wrong with him?  David is 54 years old, married, and has children older than me.  The only physical contact I ever had with David was a hug I gave him after I got out of the hospital (which by the way is the only straight man outside of my family I've hugged in the past seven years).  Yes, David looks like Alan Rickman.  Yes, I wanted to sleep with David.  Yes, I tried to seduce David and despite my best efforts he wouldn’t go for it.  That was two and a half months ago, before he fired me and filed a restraining order.  The man obviously wants nothing to do with me.  I gave up.  There is no point in pursuing someone who has no interest in me.  Why waste my time.  I wish Voloyda would give up on me as easy as I gave up on David.  It would make my life a hell of a lot easier. 

Rabbit

Days until restraining order is lifted: 322

Theo and I were driving back to my home earlier and saw a woman walking a rabbit on a leash in her fenced in backyard.  First off whom the fuck walks a rabbit to begin with.  Second where the hell do you purchase a rabbit harness?  And lastly why walk it in your fenced backyard.  If you are going to walk your rabbit at least walk it down the street.  I found the entire situation to be quite funny.  I wish I had a rabbit.  Or a dog.  Mostly a dog.  I had a dog but he got sick and died.  It saddens me.

Fainting

Days until restraining order is lifted: 323

On the 19^th of December I had surgery to implant a recorder in my chest to monitor my heart for an arrhythmia because I faint.  Sometimes I faint when I get stressed, sometimes when I’m doing something strenuous and, sometimes for no apparent reason.  I’ll just be standing there and I’ll pass out.  It caused some problems at work because they had to send me home after I fainted.  They made me take off the entire month of November and half of December. 

Usually the fainting didn’t cause any problems other than a few bumps from my head hitting the floor, but once I had a concussion.  And one time I cracked my ribs falling out of a tree.  About a year ago, when Voloyda and I were still dating we and some friends of ours snuck into a cemetery at three in the morning to take some pictures for “Goths Up Trees.”  I climbed up the tree and then fainted and fell out.  Voloyda didn’t even manage to get the fucking picture.  The man is totally incompetent. 

I went through surgery to put the recorder in and the doctors haven’t even been able to find anything.  I still faint and now I have a damn scar on my chest.  Once the recorder is removed, which will be sometime in the next three years, I plan to cover the scar with a tattoo of a music note.