Social Cues Part Two

On my last post about social cues a couple of people expressed interest in another post on the subject.  Here are some more social norms I’ve noticed.

• When talking to someone try to make sure your comments go with the conversation.  For example if someone says ‘I bought a new car.’ Your response should not be ‘I read a book about 18^th century France.’ I have a hard time with this one.  If I don’t know what to say I’ll either say nothing which makes for long awkward pauses or I’ll say the first thing that comes into my head, which if it doesn’t relate to the conversation also creates awkward pauses.  Try to make sure your statements are relevant.
• When one is in a public place whether it be at a store, restaurant, or school it is important to leave your shoes on your feet. 
• When in an elevator make sure you’re facing the door.  It’s considered odd to face the back of the elevator.  This is true for most elevators unless the elevator has a glass back that you can see out of.  It’s still rather odd but not as odd as to just be staring at the back wall. 
• Try not to talk to yourself in public.  People will think you are crazy.  I usually try to contain it, but if I can’t I’ll put headphones in (the apple ones that have the mouth piece) so people think I’m talking on the phone.
• Don’t bring unusual or unnecessary objects with you out in public.  This is more acceptable for children but as you get older you’re expected to stop bringing useless items with you.  Because I move around so much and am easily distracted, I usually have a few things in my backpack to help keep me focused.  I bring a few fidget toys with me to class every day because I listen much better when I have something to do with my hands.
• Don’t sit down on the floor in public places, especially if there is a chair.  I’ve found that there are several exceptions to this though.  It is acceptable to sit on the floor at school if you are waiting in the hallway for your class.  And you can sit on the ground outside but only if you’re either sitting on the curb or steps or at a park or like a grassy area.
• Don’t criticize people who haven’t asked you to do so unless it’s absolutely necessary (e.g. they are about to fail an important project or embarrass themselves in some way).  I tend to be very blunt and overly honest with people.  For example: if someone comes up and asks you how they look in their new outfit and you think they look terrible, it’s probably not a good idea to voice that particular opinion.  Instead you should say something like: ‘that really isn’t your color’ or ‘you’d look better with a different style of shirt.’
• Don’t refuse to shake someone’s hand.  I have trouble with this one.  Because I don’t like to touch people, especially people I don’t know very well (as is often the case with hand shaking, you will rarely be expected to shake hands with people you’ve met more than a couple times).  I used to, and still do, occasionally, refuse to shake people’s hands. 
• Don’t pepper your conversations with phrases from another language or with obscure words or phrasing that most people won’t understand.  For example: if you are talking to your friend, unless your friend happens to be a Russian doctor, it would be out of place to start speaking in Russian and using advanced medical terminology. 
• When eating in public or with other people it is important to use the proper utensils and not your hands.