TDoV Day 14

Day 14: Talk about traditional media. Have you been influenced by trans themes in the media? Have you had to correct misinformation about trans people that others got from the media?

In regards to trans people, the media is wrong 97% of the time.  It’s astounding the number of people who think there are only trans women, when I say I’m trans many people assume I’m mtf and I always have to correct them and say ‘No I’m actually female to male.’  It can be annoying.   With the exception of Boys Don’t Cry, trans men are hardly ever mentioned.  We have next to no awareness.  It’s frustrating. 

And there’s always the misinformation about surgery and your body.  People say all kinds of rude stuff about trans bodies and surgery.  A couple common ones:

“You have to have surgery to be trans.” Or “When are you having surgery?” You do not have to have surgery.  There is no right or wrong way to be trans.  Plus it’s rude to ask people about any medical procedures they may have had/will have.

“Have you had ‘the’ surgery?”  Which surgery are you referring to?  There is no one surgery.  For ftms there’s top surgery and a multitude of bottom surgeries. Which one are you referring to?

“Do you have a penis? Do you still have boobs?  What genitals do you have?”  Rude.  You shouldn’t be asking this to anyone but your sexual partner.  

TDoV Day 13

Day 13: Talk about music, art, writing, and other forms of creativity. What do you create? Do you include trans themes in your creations? Does your creativity help you with any trans issues?

As you know, writing is my artistic talent.  I write poems and short stories.  I even enjoy writing research type papers if it's about something I'm passionate about.  I have yet to write anything trans related (other than a research paper for school) but I shall endeavor to write at least a couple of trans related poems for next month.  So be on the lookout for them come April.  Writing is a good form of therapy for me, I can’t say whether it helps me with trans issues in particular but it does help with my overall mental well-being.

TDoV Day 11

Day 11: Talk about expression and presentation. Do you present as your identified gender? Do you use cosmetics? Do you use scented products? Do you wear jewelry or other accessories? Which rack do most of your clothes come off of? Do you take any special measures with regard to body, facial, or head hair? Have you faced any particular challenges related to your gender expression or presentation?

I present as a man.  I wear men’s clothes and shoes.  I use men’s toiletries.  I was never really into makeup, occasionally I’ll use some to darken my eyebrows but that’s about it.  I don’t wear a whole lot of jewelry.  Sometimes I wear my Batman watch or a chewie necklace but that’s it; I don’t like the sensation of jewelry on my body.  I like non-jewelry accessories though.  Even before I came out as trans I loved to wear ties, I have a whole bunch that I occasionally wear.  I like to wear snapback hats, I have several but mostly wear my galaxy print one, the others are pop culture based and only work with certain clothes (Pokémon, Batman, Slytherin, Zelda).  I also have a cheap pair of batman sunglasses I wear all the time.  All of my clothes come from the men’s department with the exception of socks which I get from boys (one of the few benefits of having smaller feet is that I can get 10 pairs of socks for $7).  I have a masculine haircut, it’s currently a fade, though I’ve previously had a Mohawk, fauxhawk, and buzz cut.  I don’t really have any particular challenges with my expression; mostly I just dress/express how I want to.  

TDoV Day 9

Day 9: Talk about community. How are you treated by your local community? Do you participate in any online communities? How have they reacted to you being trans?

Online communities are the best.  I get way more support there than I’ve ever gotten in person.  Mostly I participate in autism, atheist, harry potter, and trans groups.  For the most part they have been overwhelmingly supportive.  There’s always going to be some assholes but for me at least online was the way to go support wise.  Shout out to all my great internet friends: You’re awesome.  

TDoV Day 8

Day 8: Talk about support. Who in your life has helped you? Have medical and mental health providers served your needs? Have lawmakers in your jurisdiction worked to protect you?

I don’t have much support from my family.  My mom doesn’t have a problem with me wearing men’s clothing or having a men’s haircut and stuff but she freaks out about me identifying as a man.  I don’t know.  It’s been like two years I thought she’d have gotten used to it by now.  But Theo is great about it and my friends online.  My aunt calls me by my chosen name even if she messes up the pronouns sometimes.  Both my past and current therapists are really good.  Ohio is about one of the worst states for trans rights.   

TDoV Day 7

Day 7: Talk about children. Do you have any? Do you want to be a parent? Do you face any challenges to your desire or lack of desire for children? How have you worked against those challenges?

I do hope to have a child at some point, though definitely not anytime soon.  I've got so much shit going on I need to get myself together first.  I don't see there being any challenges to having a child, at least not now.  I suppose it will depend on if I end up in a relationship with a man or woman or other who I could have biological children with.  It's not really something I'm concerned about at this point in my life.  

TDoV Day 6

Day 6: Talk about relationships. Do you have anyone special in your life? Have your relationships been affected by your being trans?

I'm not seeing anyone and not really interested in dating at this point.  My depression has been kind of bad lately and I'm trying to get myself more stable before bringing someone else into my life.  I would imagine it will be more difficult to find someone okay with my gender identity.

TDoV Day 5

Day 5: Talk about dysphoria. Do you experience dysphoria? How does it affect you? What things do you do to cope with it?

I have a great deal of dysphoria about my chest.  I wear a binder when I can handle it but it's uncomfortable and not exactly sensory-friendly and with my autism it just makes me more agitated about everything.  Also I'm kind of wary about accidentally injuring myself again.  Binders can cause long term/permanent damage to the body that can make top surgery more difficult when I have it done in the future.

TDoV Day 4

Day 4: Talk about transition. Do you want to? What kind of progress have you made? How has the process affected your day to day life? Do you feel your transition is complete?

I'm still unsure of the path I wish to take to transition.  The only medical process I know I want for sure is top surgery.  I have no desire for bottom surgery at all and am undecided as to whether I want to go on testosterone.  I am hoping to be able to do a name and gender-maker change as some point in the semi-near future.  At this point I'm content to wait a while before furthering my transition.

TDoV Day 3

Day 3: Talk about coming out. Are you out? Who did you come out to first? How did people in your life react?

I am out as ftm and have been since October of 2015, I think?  I'm not sure of the specific dates and I came out to different people at different times and I didn't post it on here right away so I'm a little unsure as the the exact time but I believe it was around October of 2015.  I am out to my friends and family and mostly out at school.  The first person I told was my BFF Theo as of this point he is the only one who really accepts me.  My aunts are okay and my therapist is cool about it but that's it.  My parents refuse to even acknowledge it and change the subject whenever I bring it up.  My sister treats it as a joke and says she doesn't believe I'm trans.  My grandmother yells at me when I bring it up.  So I'm not exactly in the most supportive situation.

TDoV Day 2

Day 2: Talk about your process of discovery and realization. How did you come to understand yourself to be trans?

I never really felt particularly feminine.  I don't like girly stuff, I don't like particularly manly stuff either but whatever.  I've never really felt comfortable with myself or my body.  It's been a journey discovering and coming to terms with my gender identity and expression.  If you've been following the blog you know I first came out as genderfluid and then more recently came out as ftm.  I know I've said I'm ftm but honestly I'm still a little unsure.  But I have definitely narrowed it down between trans man and masculine agender.  At this point I'm not really too stressed about working out which.  And i really don't want to have to come out again.  Especially if I am ftm I'd hate to come out as agender and be wrong yet again.

TDoV Day 1

I know my updating has been rather dismal lately and I am going to change it with the 31 Days of Trans Visibility.  The original idea is located here: Trans Days of Visibility.  Basically the idea is to answer the prompt everyday to raise awareness.  I'm probably not going to do everyday but I promise I will do at least half of them even if it's only a few lines.

Day 1: Make yourself known. Tell the world your name, age, and how you identify. Post a picture of yourself.

I do wish to remain anonymous both for my safety and the safety of the people I've mentioned on here.  Being trans and atheist isn't exactly the most accepted thing and I do worry about my safety sometimes.  As you know I prefer to go by Oliver.  I'm 24.  I currently identify as a trans man.