Danny

Days until restraining order is lifted: 267

My sunburn is finally going away but now it’s all blistered.  Ouch.  At least it doesn’t sting anymore.

I’ve been talking to this guy from Craigslist named “Danny.”  He has piercings and tattoos.  It’s not very often you see older guys with piercings.  That’s totally hot.

Cedar Point

Days until restraining order is lifted: 270

Bonnie and I went to Cedar Point yesterday.  It was so much fun.  It was ridiculously hot and sunny.  At least until it started raining which lasted about half an hour and really cooled it down.  I got a horrible sunburn.  And of course there was no aloe.  I could not sleep last night.  Every time I fell asleep I would roll over onto my sunburn and wake up.

Baseball Game

Days until restraining order is lifted: 272

I went to a baseball game today with Bonnie and my mother.  It was so fucking hot.  Bonnie and I are going to Cedar Point tomorrow.  I'm so excited.  I haven't been to Cedar Point in a few years.  I hope it doesn't rain.

Family Reunion

Days until restraining order is lifted: 273

Three months down, nine to go. 

Today was our family reunion.  It was at my aunt’s house.  There were about 40 people in attendance.  We had some lovely conversations involving such topics as ‘butt-chugging,’ vodka tampons, dead relatives, creepy sex jokes, and past reunions.  There was no beat-down this year, a nice little break in tradition.  Two years ago there was a fistfight and last year someone got smacked with a cooler. 

The big surprise was my uncle showing up from Kansas.  Him, his wife, and his two youngest kids came.  My mother was the only one who knew they were coming.  They popped by the house yesterday and surprised Bonnie, Cal, and I.  My mother made us swear not to say anything.  It was funny, everyone was all like ‘what are you doing here?’ and ‘why didn’t you tell anyone you were coming?’

We played some games; family bingo, family trivia, some game involving 27 plastic flamingos, white elephant.  I ended up with a couple of books.  It was fun. 

It was also ungodly hot, until it started raining.  It was absolutely pouring and then came the thunder, lightning, and hail.  And then the power went out.  A bunch of people left when it began raining so the rest of us, about 20 people, were crowded into the living room in the dark.  It was so fucking loud in there, you couldn’t hear yourself think.

Messing with Bonnie

Days until restraining order is lifted: 274

My grandmother showed up today and I decided to fuck with Bonnie.  She was in the bathroom and my grandmother and I were in the kitchen.  I was like “Is she out of the bathroom yet?”  “No.”  And just as she came out the bathroom I said, “You know who’s really hot?  Bonnie’s husband.”  Bonnie came over and was pretending to hit me.  It was pretty funny.  She was all like: “You pulled that off perfect.”  LOL

I made a grave error in judgment by showing Bonnie, Sweet Brown.  Now she keeping going: “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”  She’s a nurse so my mom was fucking with her: “That can be one of the questions you ask your patients.  ‘Have you ever had bronchitis?’ and then you can break into your spiel.”  “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”   We were laughing too hard.  I have a feeling that is going to be a main point over the weekend.  LOL.

Preview to Family Reunion

Days until restraining order is lifted: 275

My family reunion is on Saturday and a few of my cousins are staying with us.   My cousin Bonnie can be a lot of fun, especially when she’s drunk.  Last time she got totally hammered and sat on me and wouldn’t get up until I told her she was my favorite aunt.  She’s not even my aunt, she’s my third cousin.  Her husband, Cal, is super hot.  He totally looks like Alan Rickman.  I’m on cookie duty for the reunion.  Tomorrow I have to make 20 dozen cookies.  Bonnie said she’d help out though, so that’s cool.

A bunch of people responded to my Craigslist ad.  Four of the guys seem pretty cool.  I have a date next week with one of them.  We’ll see how it goes. 

Restraining Order Reactions

Days until restraining order is lifted: 277

You would think most guys would be a little wary of going out with someone who has a restraining order against them.  That was ‘Plan A’ to try to scare off the creepy guys.  Instead I got comments like:

That’s hot.

Give you an A for effort.

You go for it girl!

Awesome! LOL

What the fuck?  A man with a restraining order would make me extremely cautious if not turn me off completely.  I guess I’ll have to switch to ‘Plan B’ which is to tell them the exact reasons for my termination from The Store and my stay in the nuthouse.  If that doesn’t work I’m all out of ideas.  Hmmm...then again there’s always Voloyda.  He’d be willing to do just about anything I asked him.  Than can be ‘Plan C.’  LOL

Break Up

Days until restraining order is lifted: 278

It didn’t work out between Greg and I, Oh well.  We really didn’t have that much in common.  We had an argument last night and it pissed me off and I put another ad on Craigslist.  Then this morning he wanted me to come over so we could have sex.  What the fuck man?  I just met you.  I told him that was weird.  He told me it wasn’t going to work out.  Whatever.  I got 47 responses to my ad and a date tomorrow with a man that looks like Alan Rickman.

Getting to Know Greg

Days until restraining order is lifted: 284

Well, I haven’t updated in a few days.  I have a wicked bad cold; fever, cough, runny rose, headache.  It fucking sucks.  Who the hell gets sick in the summer anyway?  Lucky me.

Greg and I continue to talk.  We might go out again next week.  He totally noticed Theo following us.  (Dammit Theo!  Way to be stealthy!)  I guess Greg wasn’t as unobservant I as thought.  Good for him.  It’s nice to be talking to a guy who actually pays attention to what’s going on around him.

My step-father is having surgery and I have to be home to take care of him.  Yay me!  I’m so excited!  Not.  Why he couldn’t have had this surgery before my mother went back to work I have no idea.  She was off for 10 months.  He couldn’t have done it then?  Of course not, he gets scheduled four days after she returns to work.  What the bloody fucking hell?

Some asshole backed up into my car and bent the shit out of my license plate.  It pissed me off.  At least it was only the license plate.  I should be able to straighten it out.  Now where did I put that hammer?  LOL

Garage Sale

Days until restraining order is lifted: 287

We finished our garage sale.  I made $120.  Got my phone paid off till august and ended up with $60 cash.  I’m happy.  It was worth getting up at 6:30 but I am beat.

Date with Greg Part 2

Days until restraining order is lifted: 288

Well Greg and I went on our date yesterday.  I had Theo follow us to make sure the man didn’t kill me.  Theo had on this super bright blue and purple shirt.  Does he not know how to be inconspicuous?  Men, they have no sense of stealth.  It didn’t help that Greg held the door open for him when we left the restaurant.  Fortunately, Greg like most men was remarkably unobservant.  LOL.

So Theo and I arrived at the restaurant 30 minutes early and explained the situation to the hostess

H: So table for two?

T: Well kind of

O: There’s three of us but we need to be at different tables

T: She has a date. But hasn’t met the man so I’m here to make sure she’s safe

O: So if we could get tables near each other so he could see what’s going on

H: So you want it to be like secret

T: Yes

H: How about a table separated by a wall

O: That would be perfect

So Theo was seated in a two person booth on one side of the wall and I was seated in a booth on the other.  Our waitresses were so funny they kept coming over and talking to us.  Telling us about similar situations they had.  And when Greg got there they kept coming over and asking how everything was. 

That dinner was the most awkward meal I have ever experienced.  We don’t really have anything in common and I had no idea what to talk about.  It didn’t help that he lied about how many children he has.  When we were texting he said he had 2 children but, at dinner he said he had three.  And one of his daughters is named “October” as well.  That’s weird I didn’t really think my name was that common.  After we ate we decided to go over to the mall and see a movie (the mall was right across the street).  We were walking out and Theo was right behind us.  Greg ended up holding the door open for him.  Theo said later that they made direct eye-contact. 

Theo started walking over to the mall and Greg was ahead of me so I picked Theo up.  He jumped out when we got to the mall and agreed to meet in the food court.  I went and parked and met him there, Greg arrived a few minutes later.  Theo went up to the theater while Greg ran to the bathroom.  Greg and I went up and bought our tickets.  Greg and I sat in the middle of the last row and Theo sat the row in front of us to the right.  We watched the movie.  When it was over we left the theater and once again Greg ended up holding the door for Theo.  How he didn’t notice it was the same man from the restaurant I have no idea.  Men are so unperceptive.  I always notice when people are following me, though that may be because with Voloyda I’m used to having to watch out for people.  The man has me paranoid.

Overall the date was awkward but what first date isn’t awkward?  It was awkward but not necessarily bad.  But I don't think I'll go out with him again.  We don't really have anything in common.  I’ll probably text him tomorrow.   

I had to get up at 6:30 today to help with our garage sale and I am so tired.  I never get up that early.  On the plus side I made $56.  And my psychiatrist finally agreed to change my meds.  I am so happy about that.  The stuff I’ve been taking does not work.  I’ve been begging her to change them for months.  Goodbye Prozac, Hello Effexor.  Hope these new pills work.  Keeping my fingers crossed.

Date with Greg Part 1

Days until restraining order is lifted: 289

I went on my date and the man didn’t kill me.  It was funny because my grandmother and therapist and aunt and parents were all worried that he would kidnap me or something.  Chill out people not every 55-year-old man you meet on Craigslist is a psycho.  I will post about the date tomorrow.  I’m so tired and I have to get up early for our garage sale.   

Ryker’s Graduation

Days until restraining order is lifted: 291

Just got back from my cousin Ryker’s eighth-grade graduation.  There was this really hot guy.  I asked my aunt if she knew him and she said he was married; as if the fact that the person is married has ever stopped me before.  LOL.  After the ceremony I went up and talked to him.  I asked if he was married, he said he was and asked me why.  I told him I thought he was attractive.  He thanked me while looking decidedly uncomfortable.  I walked away.  It never hurts to ask; granted the best time probably wasn’t at his daughter’s graduation with his wife less than ten yards away.  Oh, well.

Sugar Daddy

Days until restraining order is lifted: 293

The date has been made for Thursday.  Red Robins at 4 o’clock.  I’m going to see if Theo will watch our date just to make sure I don't end up dead and stuffed in a freezer or anything.  You can never be too safe, especially with someone you’ve met online. 

The man, “Greg,” offered to pay my phone bill for me.  Who does that?  What the hell man?  I’ve known him for 4 days; we haven’t even met yet.  For all he knows I could be completely crazy; which is basically common knowledge of pretty much everyone who knows me.  This man has no idea.  I told him about the restraining order and he didn’t freak out.  Don’t really know what to say about that.  You would think a restraining order would scare most people off.  Not him.  Good for me, he seems like a decent guy.  Let’s hope my date goes well.  At the very least I'll get a free dinner and movie.  And hope he’s not completely crazy like Voloyda.