My Father Part 2

I said I would post about my father's memorial service but I really couldn't think of anything to say.  It was your average catholic memorial service.  Very small service; only 15 people came.  The service was kept private so as to avoid any issues with his girlfriend showing up.  It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be to get through; just very draining.  And then I had to go out to eat with everyone in attendance.  

Last Thursday my sister and I went to our cousin's house to look through a box of dad's pictures and see if there were any we wanted.  I got some pictures of my father and one of my grandmother.  There were quite a few pictures of my sister and I, which she seemed surprised at.  She and dad weren't close at all.  But he always had pictures of us displayed in his home.  He may not have been around much but he loved us.

I cleared of the top of one of my bookshelves for his urn and the pictures I got.  I wish I had a more recent picture of the two of us.  I stopped really seeing him when I was around ten and that's when the pictures of us stopped.  I wish I would have one taken when I was staying with him a couple years ago.  I did get a picture of my grandparents though and a picture of my father, sister and I from when I was a baby.  I guess it worked out okay.

The night we went over the pictures was the only time I really cried.  My father and I weren't close but thinking about him is upsetting.  Writing this was upsetting.  I try not to dwell on it.