Voloyda’s Craziness Part 5

Days until restraining order is lifted: 340

That terrifying moment when you look outside and see your ex-boyfriend hiding in the bushes and when he sees that you've noticed him he waves and then walks away like nothing happened.  I don't understand how David hasn't noticed this man following him everywhere.  Voloyda is fucking terrible at being inconspicuous.  He would make a horrible private investigator.  I seriously need to consider getting a restraining order against him.

Voloyda’s Craziness Part 4

Days until restraining order is lifted: 343

I went bowling with Theo and his sister Matilda.  It was fun.  It probably would have been more fun if I didn't completely suck at bowling.  Oh well, I had a good time.

Voloyda continues to follow David and Briar Rose.  I don't really see him accomplishing anything from this except maybe ending up with some restraining orders or ending up in prison.  As of yet he hasn't said anything, to me anyway, about assaulting the man; though it's only a matter of time.  I don't know what the hell I should do.  Do I tell David and risk getting arrested for violating the restraining order or say nothing knowing it's only a matter of time before Voloyda goes after him?

Stacy

Days until restraining order is lifted: 344

One of my supervisors at The Store was a woman named Stacy.  I liked Stacy, at first.  I still do.  We got along quite well until she found out I was bisexual.  Her reaction: “I didn’t know you were a faggot.”  Nice, yeah?  I let it slide and didn’t report it at first.  And then I found out she was saying it to people behind my back.  She was also telling people that I wanted to sleep with David, and making snide little comments like: “Why don’t you go and clean the bathroom and I’ll send David in there after you?” and “How did you get a mid-shift on Saturday? What’d you do sleep with David?”  I filed a complaint with David, in what was probably the most awkward conversation I’ve ever had in my entire life.  There was talk of an investigation.  And I heard from what I thought was a reliable source that Stacy might be put on suspension.  I retracted my complaint.  I thought maybe Stacy might lighten up if she wasn’t being investigated.  Didn’t happen.  Stacy is the one that reported me.  She’s the one that got me fired.  I strongly dislike Stacy and though I haven’t as of yet forgiven her, I don’t hold it against her either.  

Hammered

Days until restraining order is lifted: 346

I got absolutely hammered last night and sent seventy texts to Theo at 430 in the morning.  Including such gems as:
Let me sing you the song of my people.  I love Rodmartin today.
Do you think it's possible to smell your own nose?
How are my socks?
Hufflepuffs are great finders
I got hit by a Lotka (Lotka is Russian for boat.  I don't recall getting hit by a boat.)
You know who's hot?  Craig Nelson.
And 7 texts containing nothing but some variation of the word 'shit canned.'

I don't remember any of this.

Movies/Voloyda’s Craziness Part 3

Days until restraining order is lifted: 347

Horror musical movie marathon with my boyfriend tonight.  I'll call him "B" (mainly so Voloyda doesn't hunt him down and attack him like he did the last person I went out with.)  We shall be watching:
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Little Shop of Horrors
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (I absolutely love Alan Rickman and Helena Bonham Carter)
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Repo! The Genetic Opera

Sounds like fun, yes?  Let’s hope Voloyda doesn’t scare this man off like he did the others.  I haven’t heard from him in two weeks.  I would have been happy about that if I didn’t know the reason he hasn’t contacted me is because he’s too busy following David and his family.  If what I heard from Voloyda’s brother is true, which it usually is, Voloyda has:
Moved into David's apartment building
Pulled David's credit report
Gone through David's rubbish
Been loitering in and around The Store
Been following David's sons
Been following Briar Rose
He has also run a background check on the man.  Nice, yeah?  He's a complete fucking nut.  I would warn David about this crazy ass man that's following him but that would be a violation of my restraining order and I would be arrested.  Oh well.  Not my problem if Voloyda beats him down.  Maybe he should have listened to what I had to say before he filed a restraining order against me.  I wish him luck.  He'll need it now that Voloyda's after him. 

Being Normal

Days until restraining order is lifted: 349

I tried to be normal.  I didn’t like it.  Being normal is overrated.  I’m not sure being normal is what I want anyway.  I want to be happy.  I want to not be so afraid all the time.  I want people to like me.  I want to be able to be myself.  I want to walk around in my gothic clothes.  I want to continue with my odd manner of speaking.  I want to be able to show my quirkiness and eccentricities.  I want people to stop looking at me like I’m crazy.  I guess what I really want is for people to be more accepting of people who are different.  It’s not me who needs to change, it’s them.  The belief that only a certain way is normal and you have to be that way.  That being ‘normal’ is the only way to live and that the people who don’t fall into that category should be ignored, or hidden away, or shamed until they become ‘normal’ is wrong.  It’s that sort of ideology that causes people like me to be afraid of going out in public.  People call me crazy.  They spit on me.  They call me a devil worshiper and devil person. Why?  Because I don’t fit into their neat little box of how people should appear and behave.  Because I’m different.  I’m not normal.  And I’m happy being that way.  If being sane means thinking there’s something wrong with being different… I’d rather be completely fucking mental. 

New Goal

Days until restraining order is lifted: 350

My new goal is to be normal.  To not be so gothic.  To not talk so strangely.  To not exhibit so many bizarre behaviors.  I went to pick up my best friend Theo from work yesterday, I have known him for seven years.  He didn’t recognize me because I was wearing an orange tank top.  All it takes for my best friend of seven years to not recognize me is a colored shirt.  That is just sad.

Voloyda’s Craziness Part 2

Days until restraining order is lifted: 351

I have not seen or heard from Voloyda in over a week.  That's like a fucking record.  Usually he's bothering me about some 'emergency' every other day.  At least he stopped mailing me things.  And he wasn't just sending me normal things like flowers or notes, he was sending me creepy ass shit.  Some of the things he sent me:
His dirty underwear
A lock of his hair
A bloody towel
A vial of semen

What the hell.  That shit is creepy as fuck.  Anyway he appears to be leaving me alone.  At least for now.  Let's hope it stays that way.

David's Wife

Days until restraining order is lifted: 352

Both David and his wife Briar Rose have restraining orders against me which is kind of funny.  Funny because I have never met or even seen this woman.  She has a restraining order against me, yet I have no idea what she looks like.  The only things I know about her is that she’s Filipino and 54 years old.  That could be anyone.  I could be running into her all over the place and not even fucking know.  I think the restraining order is stupid to begin with as I have never threatened either of them; in fact it was quite the opposite.  I was trying to warn them about someone who does pose a threat to them.  Oh well, these things happen.  Only 352 days to go.

Ryker’s Birthday

Days until restraining order is lifted: 354

Today was my cousin “Ryker’s” birthday.  He turned fourteen.  Lucky him.  I don’t think I’m going to make it to my next birthday.  My life is sort of sucky right now.  Maybe it will get better.  I’ll just have to wait and see.  Annette is still not speaking to me.  One of my other good friends from The Store, “Minerva,” won’t return any of my calls.  Today was not a good day.