The Hospital

Days until restraining order is lifted: 21

When I got to the hospital I had to change out of my clothes and into scrubs.  They had to check my clothes to make sure I didn't have anything that could be used as a weapon or to hurt myself.  Later they gave me most of my clothes back for me to wear but kept my shoes and belt.  Apparently everyone is supposed to be 'wanded' with the metal detector thing but for whatever reason I was not.  My guess is that it's because the police brought me in and they assumed he had already searched me, which he hadn't.  After I changed I was taken into a separate room where I had to answer yet more questions and fill out all kinds of paperwork.  They said that I couldn't keep my phone with me and had to have it checked in but that I could copy down any numbers that I wanted off of it before they took it.  I had to sign off on all of the stuff that I wasn't allowed to keep with me like my phone and money and I.D. cards.  After the paperwork was done they showed me to my room.  They showed me where everything was and explained the rules.  Basic stuff like: no touching the other patients, lights out at 11, try to limit phone calls to 15 minutes at a time, when visiting hours were, that group was three times a day and you're encouraged but not mandated to attend.  Stuff like that.

They said I could make any calls I needed to.  I also had to give them a password for the phone should anyone call for me they would need to know the password to be put through.  My password was Alan Rickman.  I called a bunch of people, my mom and grandmother and told them what was going on.  And my sister and asked her if she could bring me some clothes and my pillow and stuff.  And Annette and Minerva and told them I was okay.  Andie came to visit me the first night (and every night after up until I was released) and brought me some stuff.  Annette and Minerva came and saw me on my third day there.  And Theo came on my fourth.

Being in the hospital was not actually that bad.  You hear all kinds of horror stories about what happens in mental wards but my stay was okay.  You have no responsibilities.  Nothing you need to be doing.  You get three hot meals a day, plus all the cereal and cookies and ice cream and fruit that you want.  Everything you need is provided for you.  You can sleep as much as you want.  You can wear your own clothes and people can bring you things from home.  The only thing I really missed was internet access.  But my sister brought me some books and I caught up on a lot of reading.  I was in there for four-and-a-half days and I think I read five books.  It was a stress free environment in which I was able to wind down and pull myself back together.

I met with a doctor every day for an evaluation and talked with a social worker.  How long you're there really depends on you.  If you do nothing but sit in your bed and cry and don't eat and don't talk to anyone and don't attend any of the groups they're not going to let you out.  I went to most of the groups, participated in the art therapy sessions and socialized with the other patients.  There were people who had been in there for weeks.  I was in there for four-and-a-half days.  When I met with the doctor on the fourth day he told me that he thought I was well enough to leave if I wanted to, but that I didn't have to if I didn't think I was ready.  I said I wanted to leave.  They filled out the paperwork, made sure I had a follow-up appointment in place with my psychiatrist, and my sister was able to take me home that night.  I was brought in around 5:30PM on the 17th and was released at 8PM on the 21st.