Talk about autism parents. How do you feel about this section of the community? Do you feel as if they speak over you? Do you find the term ‘autism parent’ rude or offensive?
I find the term ‘autism parent’ rude and misleading. There is no such thing as an autism parent, you cannot parent a neurotype. The proper term would be parent to an autistic child. I’ve tried to argue my point about this but the majority of ‘autism parents’ don’t listen.
I’m kind of iffy about whether these people even belong in the community. They are not autistic themselves so they can’t and shouldn’t be speaking for us. I guess I would class them more as sort of visitor. They are welcome to come and observe and interact with us and to gather information or advice but they shouldn’t be inserting their opinion about what’s best for us or how we should behave. They’re a tourist not a resident, they don’t get to speak as to the autistic experience.
A common situation I’ve come across with these people is that they ask for advice and then jump all over when you say something they don’t like. ‘Why is my child doing this?’ and then when I try to explain the autistic thought process behind why their child may be doing it, they tell me I couldn’t possibly understand. Or that ‘my child is nothing like you’ ‘I know my child better than you; how can you say that’s what he’s thinking.’ While obviously, I don’t know the exact situation and I’ll never know as much about a child as the parent, I do know what it’s like to be autistic and the thought process behind our actions. Some of the stuff they ask about is stuff that I’ve done but when I try to tell them they ignore it or tell me I don’t understand. It’s incredibly rude. I’ve come to the conclusion that 95% of the time when they’re asking for advice what they really want is either pity or admiration.
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